About Me

About Me

Linda Bartosik...
First steps of a beginning writer. Follow me on my journey. Read More...

My newest book now available on Amazon!

My newest book now available on Amazon!

Many treasures lie under the sea, but will Alistar find the one that will make ‘The Perfect Birthday Present’ for his mom? Join this adventurous little sea star and his best buddy Barnaby (a blob fish) as they travel through the beautiful deep blue sea, meeting many other creatures of the deep. When the two friends finally stumble upon the perfect present, Alistar needs to make a difficult decision, which only he can make. When he does, the little sea star learns that there are times when it is not the present that is important, but the thought behind it.

My First Cover! Now available on Amazon – Kindle & Hardcover

My First Cover! Now available on Amazon – Kindle & Hardcover

For Linda Crowley, the first day of the year had always been set aside to work on new, positive beginnings and 1970 was no different. Her husband and children were by all accounts healthy and no one even considered the terrible thought that tragedy would strike before the day was over, and life as she had known it was gone.

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My first illustrating project available on Amazon

My first illustrating project available on Amazon

Haley doesn't have a normal pet she has a goat, Ralph. He thinks he's having fun but he's causing untold trouble for Haley. Trouble seems to follow Ralph everywhere he goes only he doesn't know it. Haley's father says Ralph has to be sold!

Thick Skin

Get a thick skin. If you take risks, sometimes you’ll get a standing ovation, and sometimes, people will throw tomatoes. Can you think of any leader or innovator whom you admire who doesn’t have enthusiastic fans and harsh critics? Get used to wins and losses, praise and pans, getting a call back and being ignored. Work on letting go of needing to be liked and needing to be universally known as “a nice person.” – Tara Sophia Mohr – 10 Rules For Brilliant Women (find her here) 

Get a thick skin. Develop a lizard skin. This is one of the first lessons new writers must learn. I’ve heard it over and over these past five years that I have been involved in the writing world, but Tara’s explanation of just what that means is about the best I have ever heard. If you take risks, sometimes you’ll get a standing ovation, and sometimes, people will throw tomatoes. Isn’t that just the best line? I am going to tuck that away and drag it out the next time I think about stepping out of my comfort zone.

So your big idea didn’t work, you offended someone or some group, your project received nothing but criticism, etc. Who cares? Oh, that’s right, you do. Think about what freedom there would be in not caring if the tomato juice is dripping down your face. Donald Trump is certainly a prime example of that sort of freedom. To act, think, strike, and speak without caring about political repercussions takes huge courage. In some small (very small) way I admire that about him. I just wish the things he acts, thinks, strikes, and speaks on had just a little bit of policy and substance to them. But Trump aside, this is about you and me, not him.

Get used to wins and losses, praises and pans, getting a call back and being ignored. The operative words here being “get used to.”  When you are used to something, it doesn’t bother you the way it did when you first encountered it. It becomes like an old sweatshirt – you slip comfortably into it. The thought of slipping comfortably into losing is completely foreign to me. I don’t like to lose. Who does? I don’t like being ignored. Who does? I don’t like “pans” (must be the opposite of praise). Who does? How nice it must feel to be used to those things.  I don’t even know how to go about “getting used to” them.

But they happen. Losing, getting criticized, and being ignored are all a part of life and have to be dealt with. Work on letting go of needing to be liked and needing to be universally known as “a nice person.” (Well, Donald has that down.) Here the operative word is “needing.” There is a big difference between being known as a nice person because everything you do, positive and negative, is done with kindness and respect, and the need to constantly be validated as nice person. Yesterday someone said to me, “You are always so nice to everyone.” The comment got me thinking. I am not nice to people because I need them to like me. I am nice to people because everyone deserves to be treated with respect, and even if I have to tell someone “no”, I try to do it with kindness and a clear explanation. (This Donald does not have down. Such a shame for a person who wants to lead a nation and be an example to its children.)

Losing, being criticized and ignored are hard to take, but you can’t run around trying to please everyone all of the time because you need everyone to like you and agree with you. There is a degree of truth to work on letting go of needing to be liked. You have to let go of that need or the pressure will kill you, but on the other hand you have to voice your thoughts and opinions or make your art or write your story or compose your music or take your photos with respect for your audience. (Donald wains in this area, too. Not a good quality for a president talking to countries holding nuclear weapons.)

Everyone has the right to disagree with you or not like you or what you stand for. It is the grace with which you respect that right, handling their criticism in such a way that allows them to disagree with you and criticize you and still like you.

A thick skin. A lizard skin. You have to have one if you are to remain true to who you are, but you don’t have to be a bully to do it. (Oops, I forgot we weren’t talking about Donald anymore. Sorry.)

And so, as another day goes by, respect is the tool we use to carve out our lives and become the best we can be, and…I have written.20140527-071426.jpg

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